Split Timeline
A split in the cosmic timeline occured when the alien collective Anonymous sent Sarah Ann Rogers back in time, creating an alternate reality upon which Bishops of Bastard: Beginnings and all other series chronologically thereafter takes place. If you prefer to be rid of your sanity, read on. __TOC__ Cause of the Split Bishops of Bastard Issue 9 After being beamed up to the mothership of Anonymous, Masked Bastard is told the origin of Magda, the future version of Sadie who travels back in time to save the life of her child who had died. Bishops of Bastard: Beginnings - Volume 1 Sarah arrives in the past and changes her name to Magda. She joins the Holy Father Church and recruits her younger self to make certain that the child fortold to be the Internet Saviour is born. Bishops of Bastard: Beginnings - Volume 2 Magda is told by Anonymous that her past choices will effect the timeline she is now on, which means that her younger counterpart will suffer the same fate as Magda did on her original timeline. Backstory Bullshit Coming of the Holy Queen Mother *On the night of January 8, 1989, Sage Jolen-Heli appears to Bonnie Rogers in a dream telling her about Sarai her daughter and Sarai's child, the Internet Saviour. *Sarah Ann Rogers is born on March 15, 1991. Sam Rogers refuses to accept baby Sarah and asks for a DNA test. When Bonnie demands that Sam take a DNA test for her sister Bobbie’s son, Sam shuts up. *At age 17, Sarah is told by Bonnie that she will have a special child. Bonnie gives Sarah all of the info given to her in her dream about the “Arch Bishop” who would become Chaos Incarnate. Curiousity About the Church *Sarah uses a search engine and discovers the Church of Fatherless Time. She surfs the site before emailing the Arch Bishop. The Arch Bishop writes back to Sarah asking her how she knew of the Internet Saviour. *Sarah chats with Masked Bastard via IM for months, seeing the Arch Bishop as someone she could vent to. *Finally believing that Sarah is the Chosen One, Masked Bastard sends her a MP3 message talking about how important her role is in the Church. But Sarah is aroused by his voice and responds by sending him pictures of herself half naked. *The Arch Bishop reprimands young Sarah for the racy pictures, which pisses her off accordingly. From that point on, Sarah never writes to the Masked Bastard again. Sarah Fucks with the Wrong Family *After a high school football home game, Sarah witnesses junkie Lydia Warren being assaulted by a drug dealer. Sarah calls the police, but the dealer gets away. They arrest Lydia for possession of crystal meth. *The entire Warren family, namely Skinner Police Sergeant Kip Warren, is disgraced. Lydia’s sister Barbra sets up Sarah to be gang raped at a frat party for revenge after their high school graduation. Point of Divergence The timeline splits at the point where Sarah decides whether to go to the frat party or not. The Original Sarah Timeline Chaos & Havoc *Sarah goes to a wild frat party where she is drugged, raped and beaten. Barbra Warren has consensual sex with the frat brothers and keeps quiet in fear of being exposed as the orchestrator in the hit on Sarah. *One week later, Lydia commits suicide while in prison awaiting her court date. *After leaving home, 9 months later, Sarah gives birth to a baby boy. Homeless and with no way to support the child, she gives him up for adoption 14 days later and moves to Newark, New Jersey to work at Our Lady of Magdalena church, where she becomes a nun and gains employment as a social worker for troubled teen girls. *Through an online ad site, Sarah agrees to be part of a time travel experiment being done by the alien collective only known as Anonymous. She wants to go back in time to stop herself from going to the frat party, but the aliens tell her she must wait until the Core Reactor is safe for humans. *Sarah's child is neglected by the foster parents and the child dies. The young man who raped Sarah brags about not having to pay child support on his blog and Sarah tracks him down and murders him. *Sarah calls Anonymous and tells them to come get her. She asks them to send her back in time to stop herself from giving the child away. Anonymous tells her that they can’t send her back to that exact time, but they can send her back before it happens. They also warn her that the Core Reactor isn’t safe, but she insists on leaving her timeline before the Skinner Police and Sergeant Warren get to her. *Anonymous sends Sarah back in time eight years via a trans-dimensional warp tunnel. *Masked Bastard leaves the Church to find “Sarai”, but when he finally finds Sarah’s last known address, her family tells him that she’s wanted by the police and that she disappeared and they never saw her again. ---- From this point on, shit gets worse. How bad? Here's a hint: ---- *Since there is no Internet Saviour and the Bomb’s wick is never lit, Masked Bastard and Masked Baroness destroy the Universal Library of Knowledge, cutting the inner dimensional connection between celestial beings and mortal men. *Earth falls into a dark age. The cosmos is off balance. *In the mortal realm, Def is the supreme ruler of earth and the richest motherfucker alive. He marries Julio and every time Julio takes a dump, he saves it saying that it’s one of him and Def’s kids. *Eat My Fornicate becomes the Pope of the United Pansexual Scat Porn Church of the One World Buttsecks Orgy Movement. *iRobucket becomes a worldwide global Defense Network system, focusing on killing all who don’t bow down and worship Def. *assCram becomes President and ruler for life of the United Confederate Red States of Dumbfuckastan. Masked Basutado is VP. *Colonel Fishmeal takes charge of the Ultra-Super One World Police Military of Armed and Deranged Sociopaths and Warmongers. *Dr. Fap still Mods the Mental Ward, which is deader than Def’s dick. ---- Judas Christmas on a forearm crutch. Fuck that shit. ---- The Alternate Magda Timeline Peace & Order *Sarah is warned by Magda not to go to the frat party or she’ll regret it. Sarah is en route to the party when she realizes that all of the occurrences leading up to the rape come true. When Sarah doesn’t show up at the party, Barbra Warren is raped in her place. *After Barbra Warren commits suicide, Sarah leaves Skinner, Ohio for New Jersey with Magda to meet with the Arch Bishop. Sarah is inducted into the Congregation and given her Mystian name: Lady Sadie. Sadie learns what it is to be a mistress along with Lady Marge, whom Magda recruited before going to Ohio. *Anonymous explains to Magda that her going back in time has created a chrono-undulation when she killed the man who raped her; this means no matter what timeline Magda is on, she will always be fated to murder the father of her child. It is Magda’s past choices that will alter Lady Sadie’s future. *Masked Bastard and his fellow Bishops find the Barga; the Bomb gives Mask the Pass Key in exchange for Lady Marge, who becomes the oracle of the Bomb. *Masked Bastard is visited by Cardinal Pia Arrabo. Thinking of Sadie’s place in the Internet Saviour Prophecy, Mask refuses to join the Cardinal and they become bitter enemies. *Def’s case against the Church is thrown out. Def’s dad Lord Dagon disowns him. After saving Frank Tower’s life, Mask asks him to become the Church’s lawyer and he becomes Mr. R Mcgeddon. *Magda travels 5 years into the future with Linz Mondello and learns that Sadie has a baby boy and that the Arch Bishop is fated to suffer betrayal by one of his twelve loyal Bishops. *Pia Arrabo kills Mask’s mother Alema. Mask’s twin sister Bianca tries to kill him. *The Cardinal is once again locked up in the realm of Gavisel. Sadie’s father Sam assaults her and Mask beats him up. *Masked Bastard asks the 3 Lumi-Visian Sages to remove his memories of his mom, the Cardinal Pia and his sister, rendering him mortal. His birthright (Power of Anonymity) is stored on the mothership of Anonymous. *Masked Bastard tells Linz Mondello to travel one year into the future to learn of what happens to the Church. Linz leaves on July 8, 2011 and comes back on July 10th saying that the Church is gone. *Def kidnaps Lady Sadie to impregnate her so that he will be the father of the Internet Saviour. Def is defeated by Masked Bastard and a party is thrown in his honor. On this night, Masked Bastard has sex with Sadie, getting her pregnant. *Anonymous arrives at the Church and tells Masked Bastard about how they sent Magda back in time to ensure that the Internet Saviour is born. Anonymous warns Masked Bastard that enemies of the Church will try to kill Sadie’s child. *Lady Sadie gives birth to Baruch Rogers on July 6, 2012. Magda arrives from the year 2006 to confirm this. *Masked Bastard is betrayed by Bishop Julio and turned over to Dr. Fap. While in prison, Anonymous arrives and endows Mask with Power of Anonymity. He kills Dr. Fap and the Church is relocated. *Linz Mondello notices that the Church is gone and leaves for 2011 to give Mask the bad news. Masked Bastard battles Def and defeats him, pile driving the old satyr into the Ward, destroying Dr. Fap’s domain, leaving Def’s bloody head at ground zero. Anonymous entrusts Mask with guarding the Internet Saviour. ---- Ah. Much fucking better. ---- The Other Alternative Or you can just skip all of this wiki bullshit and Click Here. ---- Category:Bishops of Bastard topics